"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine, but a broken spirit drieth the bones."  Proverbs 17:22

The Last Request:
A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be executed. "Have you any last requests? asked the chaplain. "Yes," replied the murderer. "Will you hold my hand?"
 

Let's Switch:
 A prison chaplain was walking a convicted criminal to the gallows to be hanged. On the way, the chaplain said to the prisoner, "The future will be much better for you in Heaven."
"You don't really believe that!" replied the prisoner.
"I most certainly do," responded the chaplain.
"Then switch places with me," said the prisoner, "because I like the present just fine."

Chaplain Aims High
A couple was touring the Capitol in Washington and the guide pointed to a tall, benevolent gentleman as the congressional chaplain. The lady asked, "What does the chaplain do? Does he pray for the Senate or House?" The guide answered, "No, he gets up, looks at the Congress, then prays for the country!" 
      From: The World's All-Time Best Collection of Good Clean Jokes, by Bob Phillips

Nuts to You!
A nursing home chaplain went to pay a visit to an elderly, but sharp-witted gal named Millie. Millie was out of the room when he arrived, but would soon return. As he was waiting, the chaplain noticed a bowl of peanuts sitting on the nightstand. "I'm sure Millie won't mind if I take one or two," he thought to himself. Well, one or two became three or four, until the bowl was empty. At that point Millie arrived to her room. The chaplain had to confess, "Millie, I hope you don't mind, but I've eaten all your peanuts."  
    "O, that's okay, chaplain," she said, "since I broke my dentures, I can only suck the chocolate off them anyway!"

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